living through songs. . .

Music is my life.
It's awesome how you can always tell what kind of mood in in by the music i'm listening to.
From pop, heavy metal, rap, easy going, i have to be in the specific mood for each one.
Which leads me to wonder, all of the dumb people out there that refuse to listen to anything but one band, or even one genre, how do they make it?
My mind explains it through the fact that their lives must obviously also be monotone.
Take right now for example, i'm in a pissy mood, but not upset&crying pissy, almost like an adrenaline filled pissy mood.
so stuck in my head is your existence by like moths to flames.
it's your typical heavy metal song, but the lyrics couldn't be any better for my situation right now ♥

It will never exist,
No matter how many times that you
Play this out,
When will it fucking set in?
Your memories and everything about me,
Are slowly fading

Remember me as the one that got away,
And I'll remember you and everything,
That you will never change

This world is mine,
There's nothing for you,
So don't think that I,
Will find respect for you,
I was the one,
That you could turn to,
But this world is mine,
And there is nothing from you

You'll sort this out,
When you find it falling apart,
And after everything even my family,
Expected nothing from you

Expecting something from me,
Are these your memories?

Remember me as the one that got away,
And I'll remember you and everything,
That you could never be

Even my family

You took everything from me,
My life and my self esteem,
And now I'm taking you with me,
I'm taking this,
I am bringing you to the
Bottom of this

This world is mine,
And I am everything that you could ever love,
This world is mine

And I am everything

You took everything from me

My life and my fucking self esteem,
You took everything from me,
My life and my family

I will bury you and
Everything that you believe in.

You Still Have All My Heart

I've been on a super huge Sleeping With Sirens kick here lately. Their songs are always really good to sing along with. I especially love a song off their new album called All My Heart. I had it on replay a few weeks ago then i refused to listen to it for a while because of someone i don't like posting it onto their fb when i still had mine. But today it came up on my easy going playlist on shuffle and i couldn't help but see how beautiful it was again. A majority of the lyrics couldn't be more true.

There's so many things that I could say
But I'm sure it would come out all wrong
You got something that I can't explain,
Still try and try and let you know

That first summer we spent's one we'll never forget,
Looking for any kind of reason to escape all the mess that
We thought was what made us
Ain't it funny now? We can see
We're who we're meant to be

You still have all of my
You still have all of my
You still have all my heart

Ooh ooh ooh ooh
Ooh ooh ooh oooh
Ooh ooh ooh ooh
Ooh ooh ooh oooh...

There's too many times I have to say
I could have been better and stronger for you and me
You always make me feel okay
Those late summers we spent, stay up talking all night
I'd ask "you think we'd ever make it?"
You'd say "I'm sure if it's right"
Ain't it funny to think just how stupid I used to be
Hope you always believe

You still have all of my
You still have all of my
You still have all my heart

You still have all of my
You still have all of my
You still have all my heart

Let them talk and talk and talk
Let them say what they want
We will laugh at the thought they don't know what we've got
Every year that goes by, a year older we are
You'll still be beautiful then, bless your beautiful heart

They'll talk and talk and talk
How crazy is it?
Someone could waste their whole life, helplessly,
Just patiently waiting for a love like you and me

You still have all of my
You still have all of my
You still have all my heart

You still have all of my heart
You still have all of my (you still have all of my heart)
You still have all of my (you still have all of my heart)
You still have all of my heart (you still have all of my heart)

You still have all of my(I've been waiting my whole life)
You still have all of my
(For someone to save me still can't believe that you're mine)
You still have all of my heart<3

i miss you.

today has been pretty intense.
a roller-coaster of emotions for sure.
i love you so much.
i really mean it, even though you don't believe me when i tell you.
and honestly, you have all the the reason not to.
i want you to so bad, so very bad.
i need you.
i can't imagine being in this world without you.
what would i do for fun?
who would i tickle?
how am i supposed to move on?
when my feet are glued to the ground.
it all just seems like a bad dream that im bound to wake up from at any second.

wake me up.
i need your embrace.

another afternoon alone at the library.

Hello Thursday afternoon. :D
Hello Anderson library :(
so i just suspended my facebook. i have no clue at all what i'm gonna do. at this point it a crucial part of my life, too crucial.
and fb is pretty much the root of all evil in my life.
so today i yanked it up. i feel relieved now, but give me a little bit, i'll be balled up in a corner somewhere repeating incoherent i.m chat.
i pray this works out.
i did it in my last attempt to save my best friend/boyfriend.
so keep your fingers crossed for the best(: